How to Find a Surrogate Mother

Couple seeking a surrogate can use an agency or ask a family member or friend, but
there are good reasons to have an experienced guide.

surrogate mother is a woman who carries and delivers a baby on behalf of a couple. That
makes surrogacy a multifaceted arrangement with a number of medical and legal
implications, both for the surrogate mother and the parents. And those
implications don’t even include the tricky task of finding a surrogate mother
to carry the baby.

“The surrogate can be a person that the couple knows and they recruited themselves,
like a sister, or somebody from the family, or a childhood friend,” explains
Elena Trukhacheva, MD, MSCI, who is the medical director of Reproductive
Medicine Institute in Chicago. “Most of the time, a surrogate is recruited by
the surrogacy agency. And the couple uses the surrogacy agency kind of as a
middleman, to navigate the process and protect them, to some extent.”

That’s because surrogacy can be a complex process. Nothing is a sure thing, and
surrogate mothers are generally screened for fitness to help secure the best
outcomes possible. “From a medical perspective, surrogates have to be healthy
and they cannot have any medical conditions that will make them more likely to
have complications during the pregnancy. That’s usually at the discretion of a
physician,” says Trukhacheva. The surrogate usually cannot have more than one
miscarriage in their history, either – but they do need at least one full-term
pregnancy. “When someone agrees to be a surrogate for somebody, they need to
understand what they consent to. If you’ve never been pregnant, you don’t know
what it entails, or what kind of commitment it is.” A surrogacy agency screens
for these criteria, simplifying the process for the intended parents.

Finding a Surrogate Mother

Surrogacy is complex: there are legal and medical considerations that should probably preclude finding someone on
Craigslist.

Surrogates meet standards: there are standards of health, age, and experience that potential surrogates need to meet.

Make a contract: a thorough contract can help both parties avoid disputes by anticipating potential problems. Both parties
should have lawyers.

Surrogacy laws vary: some states don’t have laws that recognize surrogacy contracts – in the case of disputes, things can
get tricky.

Surrogacy is expensive: the price varies, but$100,000 isn’t out of the question, once everybody is paid.

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A surrogacy agency can also help navigate the legal status of intended parents’ rights,
which can be disputed. A direct surrogate is legally the genetic mother,
retains maternal rights, and can choose to keep the baby. Indirect surrogacy involves an embryo createdfrom the intended parents’ gametes or those of their choice. The baby is not
genetically linked to the person carrying the pregnancy and delivering the
baby. Indirect surrogacy is much more widely used than direct surrogacy.

The rereally is no central law regarding surrogacy – just a patchwork of state laws.
Some state laws are extensive, covering the question of parental rights in a
wide variety of situations. Some states have no laws for surrogacy, meaning
more potential for disputes. And the surrogate can easily live in a different
jurisdiction than the intended parents, adding another facet.

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